I'm just busy, like you are. And I yearn to find a single, juicy place in which to pour myself...although I know that's impossible. I'm the multi-spout. But.
I'm AM trying to reconcile the books, however. I'm trying make good with the flavor of God I've got. As much as I think on some days that I want to, I'm not leaving Longmont (with my fleece and down for a quiet adventure into inner space somewhere near Tibet.) Not at least while the babes are young and my commitment seems so obvious here.
So, GOD, LOVE, SPIRITUAL LIFE, all of that? It's got to unfold here, now. What I'm feeling is the the illusion of tomorrow, elsewhere, that setting, this class crashing down on my jam hands and dirty laundry and the sad, somewhat defeated AHA knowing (!!!) that oh. This is what she/he/they mean when they say start where you are.
My Mothering Source vision is to combine, write about and perhaps eventually teach about integrating seemingly opposing forces in my (and I'm guessing your) life: the desire for slowing down mashed up with life that seems to be speeding up. Meditation and silence with constant noise in the home. Simplifying alongside the complications of managing money, stuff, vacations, work, and self-care. I think it can be done.
While getting information at the click of a button is exciting to no end (repeat: to NO END) I actually find it annoying and overwhelming and, sometime, more hassle than help. It's like one of those loud ass toys that won't turn off. The lines indicating where to quit, when to turn down, how to unplug, etc. are really blurry these days. And we -- still human in most every cell I guess -- are pretty much fucking confused and freaking out. If you don't think you are, I would maybe want to argue with you...at least a little bit. Really, there's nothing that's making you hit overwhelm?
It's OK to go inside and be in the dark. It's delightful. And kind of hard when life presents this strange and perpetually sunny face of go-get-it ness. Not much of anywhere in modern culture do we support turning away from it all, though. Churches are weird for some of us, meditation and yoga can offer quick fixes, but once we get back to normal and the retreats/classes end we're back to crazy. And, mamas, are you noticing how your kids are doing in this situation? All good? If you're anything like me you may feel like you hanging on for dear life some days, or sad that your kids are being bombarded with marketing shit for a funner life from every angle. And you might want to sleep a lot. It's OK. Sleep is so good. It's actually quite natural to rest, retreat, go inside, play alone, participate less...can you recall what "natural" means? I do. I think.
The whole "householder" yoga speaks to this, but I think that term was created a long time ago. Among my shining lights? Well, who among them was living in 2012, with all this shit to deal with?
There are guides out here for us, though. And no guide is better than that little quiet, knowing place you call YOU. Make time for her today. Get still, be quiet, make some room. Her silence is really smart. It'll make you smarter. And it might make you cry, too.
Truly the desire to settle into the things that matter most is stronger than ever. This is something that calls me and I am doing it...I am figuring this all out in my own strange and unique ways. I borrow and get inspired from people like Maple Tree and Angela Farmer. Herbalists and people who smile and say hello to me vs. text someone else. It's a constant choice I'm making, and it gets so much easier the more I choose it. Truly: dropping the bs is self-resolving. It's like dumping abad boyfriend you are sure you're going to miss. But then you realize you actually so much happier without him. And so the decision is sustained.
Mamas: let's talk...
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