Mapping

Being high on pixel dust presents a map all of its own. It is visual, verbal, past, present and future; strange and unrelated, relevant, textured, subjective. I can read back posts and see, like a director chooses scenes for her film, myself in a more (or less) articulated way. 

To map is to ponder how space and events punctuate us. 

Mapping is a way for families to connect and intersect our own footprints (scattered across the "map") in and around each other. I am looking forward to the 2,000 miles mapped in red thin lines, drawn in the back pages of a glossy magazine, the arc at 30K feet moving from east to west at the end of December. 

Come, family! We have a year (and a tremendous one at that) to map, then digest, then begin to map all over again.


"The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order, the continuous thread of revelation."
– Eudora Welty

Read more about mapping, see more visuals about mapping. Love the concrete, the abstract, the musings of some of my favorite people, doing their favorite things...pondering and being together.

(These images and texts from the brilliant Carrie Rose, as contribution to the Empathinc.com BLOG, here.)

The most sun ever, in Carbondale, CO

Ben, Willoree and I spent an amazing weekend in Carbondale, CO, with friends and more new friends and then soaked in hot springs all Sunday afternoon. It was a 2-day trip but felt like a week's worth of rejuv, and I'm so grateful for Saramanda, Corey and their four cute as hell kids for having us out. It felt like home...

Corey, incidentally, knows the Whites of Boone County, WV. He is a lawyer and spent a lot of time in the Boone County courtroom, working. Jesse gets into a lot of trouble, not surprisingly. And I mean no offense here - but I gather he makes as many "poor decisions" as you may suspect. Mamie White, when first she met Corey, told him something like, "You must be from out of town, honey, because they don't come as pretty as you around here..."

And it's true. Corey's a pretty person, as is Saramanda, and all their kids. And their house and food and dog and scenery. All pretty. The list goes on. Some people, man.

Highlights:

Mule deer lurking; fires burning, Star Trek, salmon, sunshine, hot springs, hiking, no phone calls, Elaine Pagel's book about Thomas, tasty omelets, all around good food 24/7, feeling loved, loving back, naps for pregnant lady, barefoot weather (and snow on the ground), a worn-out daughter, one mystical and very amazing dream Friday night, banjo picking, radiant floor heat, storytelling, pulling Angel cards, pumpkin pies, window panes larger than walls in our bedroom.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Loved it. A great kick off to my absolute favorite holiday.

Home (on the market, anyone...?) Gorgeous lighting, custom metal work, heated floors and cozy kitchen talk. The house reminded me of a boat, and was at one time the main family ranch house on the 450 surrounding acres. It's low to the ground and sprawling...a gorgeous place to be. And we had our own sun-drenched wing to live (and dance around in our underwear) in.

360 views of surrounding areas: Vail, Basalt, Carbondale, Mount Sopris, Snowmass...

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I can't wait to share and feast and to really, truly test out this liquid Calcium/Magnesium magical elixir I bought at the store yesterday. It's supposed to help a lady out who's suffering from heartburn, or indigestion, or whatever it is we call it when our stomachs are absolutely compromised by a growing and already probably huge-ish 8 month cooked baby ADD food.

But I adore being pregnant. My complaints are minor. I have a list of things I'm thankful for; every day, every year seems to grow longer and longer. You are on the list; I thank.

"Are You a Real Person"

Ben got a letter in the mail today that asked, right above the clear window, "Are You A "Real Person"?".

This was a piece of junk mail, but a very good one. I asked him to think about it and get back to me.

For 44¢ a pop, actually less given bulk mail discounts and such, this is affordable and super interesting research.

Always on the lookout.

Andrew Cohen - I Heart Cults

Ihhh.

So knowing nothing about this dude, and after hearing a rumor that he is the central figure of some kind of cult situation, makes me rethink the Debold course...as she's a student of his.

Any info? 

Beyond the Divine Feminine - Course by Elizabeth DeBold

It starts as an impulse...and then? Doors open, something "clicks", a class is brought to your attention, you receive an invitation...here's what has recently caught my eye. From her blog, www.evolvewomen.com.

It’s back! Elizabeth’s course—Beyond the Divine Feminine!!

We are truly thrilled to announce that in January we’ll be offering a telecourse, Beyond the Divine Feminine: Liberating Women’s Consciousness through History. This is not to be missed! If you heard her announce the course today on the Women on the Edge of Evolution series, please be sure to sign up for our email list (in upper right in Elizabeth's blog) and we will send you more information as soon as it is available. 
 
Elizabeth takes you through the different stages of culture—from tribal to today—and explores how women’s consciousness developed over time. It will transform your perspective on what it means to be a woman and open doors to possibilites you never dreamed of. Her presentation is totally liberating! It will give you a lasting taste of a new kind of freedom that makes a new future really possible. You’ll be amazed by how light you will feel afterwards. Don’t miss it!

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I am planning on taking this course. I'd love a few people to join me, remotely or whatever's clever. I think a small "study" group would be excellent support and fun. I've enjoyed her lectures and articles a lot, and expect this class to be great. Not sure how we could manage this, but what about starting a dialogue amongst ourselves and seeing what it leads to?

Fair or Unfair? A Parenting Question

This is a parenting question, and by the time you read this something will have already been "done" one way of the other, but I thought I'd throw it out into the ether to get feedback.

Parenting is such a tender subject, and so often parents are winging it with respect to boundaries, or disciplinary stuff. And empty threats to our kids -- forget it. I hear so many it's just tiresome, not to mention totally ineffective and confusing for the kid. We try always to work as a team. We try our best to agree on issues BEFORE we need to implement any one course of action -- good or bad -- so we're not caught arguing or deciding in the heat of a challenging moment. When things with Willoree are slipping into crazy land (rare, but she's a healthy three...) we try to buy ourselves some time to come up with a logical and loving response before we deliver it to her.  Case in point:

After lunch today, Willoree is taking her plate to the sink and kicks our dog, Quella, out of her way. A gentle kick, a full-body leg nudge if you will, but definitely a suspect behavior, and one that's gotten brasher and bolder over the past few weeks. Respect for each other (including the animals is HUGE in our household, and the verbal warnings/lessons just aren't seeming to do the trick. She "doesn't mean to" a lot, and/or "forgets" easily. Those excuses? I don't really buy them...she's just too smart.) I look at her and ask her what that was all about, and offer to take her plate for her and calmly send her to her room for a time out. She threatens that if I do that, she'll just, she'll just...and at a loss for words, she dumped the remains of her sandwich on the floor. I take her plate, say my "uh-oh" thing, and ask her again to go to her room. She goes to her room and then slams her door -- another no-no in our house -- and one that she's been taught several times.

So I see this as the trifecta of inacceptable, bratty behavior. (And maybe some residual effects of a week of Halloween candy? Our bad.) In any case, Ben and I are left wondering what would be a fair consequence. I'm pretty much the hard ass, so here's what I came up with and proposed to Ben. And this is the piece about which I'm seeking some feedback.

We're headed to a birthday party this afternoon and I suggested that the big delayed consequence love and logic style "lesson" will be to make her wait and eat her birthday cake at home. This means, sniff sniff, that the other kids will get yummy cake, eat it, etc. etc. while Willoree has to get a plate to go. (More details about the party have been posted -- read through the comments if you're interested. Mine is the 10th one.) Of course this somewhat breaks my heart, and part of me thinks it's really severe, but honestly: a piece of cake to go? Is it that big a deal? And is the pay off impact-wise worth it? We have decided to deliver the news ahead of time so it's not a surprise to her, or in any way mortifying (we hope); we've called the hosts of the party (also Love and Logic devotees) and forewarned them of what's going in and have asked for their support ("...heard you had a rough day; would you like to choose a plate to take home with you?", etc. etc.) and of course -- Willoree gets to eat her cake later.

The tactic of what we're trying here stems from Love and Logic philosophy. For those of you who don't know it, I think it's worth checking out. From their web site's FAQ page: Love and Logic is a philosophy of raising and teaching children which allows adults to be happier, empowered, and more skilled in the interactions with children. Love allows children to grow through their mistakes. Logic allows children to live with the consequences of their choices. Love and Logic is a way of working with children that puts parents and teachers back in control, teaches children to be responsible, and prepares young people to live in the real world, with its many choices and consequences.

Love and logic parents and facilitators value a child's confidence and dignity, healthy communication, and simple and practical techniques that are useful from baby age on up. In this case, I love the idea that we as parents can wisely choose appropriate and potentially "tough" lessons when the price tag is small, so that kids "get it" early on and learn to be wise, learn self-respect, and make better decisions later in life when the price tag is greater.

So. Be gentle. And let's discuss.

Slow is the New Fast

Words to live by?

Thanks, Ann. You're all over me with your musings! Good morning to a world covered last week with snow, this week with sunny Chinooks. I need to eat more burgers.

Beauty Mark - The Film

I live just outside of Boulder, one of the thinnest cities in the United States. I also will have a teenage daughter in ten years who could easily fall prey to the incessant and unrealistic (and American-made, primarily!) cultural standards of beauty. How do we achieve it? What if we don't? What happens when we lose it? Who will love us? What is self worth?

I am a big fan beauty and I find it in almost everything and everybody. I try to create beauty in all my relations, and I generally feel beautiful. I think my family is beautiful. And so -- admittedly -- there are times when I have a hard time understanding that other people don't see beauty surrounding them, or the beauty that IS them. I can name a million reasons why this might makes sense, given the old broken patterns that are still hanging around, but I recognize my choice in the matter, and I feel committed as a parent to send messages of a personal and unshakable beauty, inside and out. I know, too, that the first step is to live it. Which is why it's easy for me to commit to self-care (for me yoga, meditation, time alone, good food, my ladies, time with my husband...it can be anything for anyone) because that's largely how you get to the place where it all makes sense. You court, and eventually live from, your deepest and most settled places.

Last night I met Boulderite Diane Isreal at a holistic nutrition class I'm attending. Diane conducts weekend women's workshops, and said that when asked what their goals were the groupwould name two: how they could fit in smaller jeans and how they can help their daughters not get eating disorders. This very unfortunate irony was a huge catalyst for the creation of her (story on) film "Beauty Mark".


http://www.beautymarkmovie.com/default.html From BeautyMarkMovie.com:

Beauty Mark is for anyone who has ever felt invisible because they didn't conform to our culture's impossible, unhealthy, abnormal beauty standards. This courageous film examines popular culture's toxic emphasis on weight and looks through the eyes of Boulder-based psychotherapist and former world-class triathlete Diane Israel-- who tells her own story while interviewing other champion athletes, body builders, fashion models and inner-city teens about their experiences relating to self-image.


This deeply personal and funny film asks some tough questions ... How do our families influence our relationships with our own bodies?  How do popular culture "standards" get inside of our hearts and heads?  In what ways can sports actually make us sicker instead of healthier?  Former champion athletes, including David Scott, Ellen Hart Pena and Brenda Maller share their stories while notable luminaries such as playwright Eve Ensler, author Paul Campos and cultural critic Naomi Wolf provide their insights.

An elite runner and triathlete until age 28, Diane won the Pikes Peak Marathon and several other major races after settling in Colorado in the early 1980s. She retired from competition after collapsing from anorexia (sometimes called  "athletic bulimia", a disorder many athletes suffer from, but which few experts knew anything about at that time). Diane went back to school to become a psychotherapist and is now a professor of human development at Naropa University, a counselor and the co-owner of a women’s fitness center. She continues to run, but strives to live her life at a less frantic pace.

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My comments: While not all the issues will pertain to you, you will probably recognize someone in the film. The subject matter and, to a large degree the theme, of "Beauty Mark" are personal and specific, but the message is massive and accessible. It's a call to action for us to find peace in ourselves just the way we are, and teach and share peace. We are being called right now by SO many sources, at every given moment, to live our truest selves, and stand in our our individual, specific beauty.

And many of you have seen this, I imagine. It's a Dove "evolution" video advertisement for their Real Beauty campaign.



We're all finding our way home. Who can you remind is beautiful today?

About the nutrition workshop, which I have been appreciating on many, many levels -- thanks Ann!:

Ann Gibson - Sustainable Living & Functional Nutrition Coach
Exquisite Living - Simple * Sustainable * Blissful
Phone: (303)993-4359
www.ExquisiteWellness.com
Phone & In-person Consultations Available

Google Profile - WTF

Are you ever just tempted to lie? I don't know where or how this information will be used for or against me, but I just spent some time filling out a "Google Profile". I don't use gmail or many of Google's features (which I hear are fantastic, actually) so this is all really new and cyber-y fictitious to me. And since Google knows everything (kind of like another Go_ I know) I figured I'd better tell her this before you hear it elsewhere. From the page:

A little personality

I was born somewhat premature in a dusty pail in South Dakota to two cowgirls who were escaping persecution from the local churches. We were on the run for around 16 years until we finally settled in Asheville, NC, where I enjoyed my first bath, bagel and too many boyfriends to count.

Thank you.

Then, she asked me (my answers immediately follow):

Something I can't find using Google:
Toilet paper when the roll's finito.

My superpower:
The ability to change kittens into cats in less than a year.

Interests:
Insects, thinking about surfing, Japanese packaging, dark skies and illuminated foregrounds, healing, lipstick and boys.

I'd love to capitalize on Google's great idea and learn a little bit about you! If you care to, fill out the questions and post them back to me. Or post a Google Profile and I will probably never find it.

Just Launched :: www.Ilovewink.com

A new project of mine just launched: ilovewink.com. These girls know style, love and how to run a business. And they're doing all kinds of great community things, too! Check them out. (Logo, ads, campaigns, web site, etc. all by 9-V.) Special thanks to Chrissy D and Sarah for making this such a fun project...

 

"Grown Man Now"

I started a beautiful and captivating book last night about the family I have been fortunate enough to inherit...

Grown Man Now (blog) embodies the generous quality of life available to an adult with Down Syndrome. Pioneers in creative problem-solving, inclusion and community interaction for over 50 years, Jane B. Schulz, EdD, and her son, Billy Schulz (my uncle, my step uncle actually), are the author and subjects of inspiration and determination.

I'm just a few chapters in...more to come. It's a real pleasure meeting Tom, Isaac, Carrie, Billy, Jane -- all my family loves! -- page after page in new light. Thanks for publishing it and sending it to CO so quickly, Mary DeWit!

Blender Broke.

Well, damn.

Our blender broke yesterday. Thank the baby Michael Jackson I don't have the flu anymore.

And so now I want to graduate from Osterizing and get a VitaMix and also an Excalibur dehydrator. I'm adding these things to my wish list, and selling some stuff from our garage to save up some money to pay for them. I will need to sell a lot of things. A lot of things.

I have this list of things I want, and images of what I want my home and life to look like...when was the last time any of you made a vision board? Collage of stuff you wanted, or things that make you feel good, or places you'd like to visit, your dream hair, etc. etc.? Two vision boards showed up at a retreat I was participating in by my friend, Beverlee Garb, and I got excited about getting out my scissors, poster board, glue, magazines, and acting like I was 13...staying up really late with a girlfriend and making one.

So yeah. Are you my girlfriend? Let's choose a night and get to cutting, girl. Then our lives will take on a glossier, more magazine-y hue. We will post our boards up (assuming they look good) in a place where we look often. We'll think of how much more creative we "used to be" (does anyone else feel like that?) and think of each other and of our sweet and deliberate unfolding lives...